so i've only lived on this planet for 21 years. but i am certain of one thing.
i don't know SHIT about love.
not the love you have for your family & friends.
i mean real love.
not only have i never been in love, i'm not even sure i've seen a couple truly in love, how would i know if i have?
you know when your in high school and people have a different boyfriend and girlfriend every 6 months and claim they were in love with all of them? is that possible?
i don't think i will ever fall in love.. ever.
i don't think my heart is capable of this emotion, honestly. and not only that.. no one is around. i've not met ONE person in my entire life that i would be remotely interested in going on this adventure with.
i just made that sound like i would be going on a vacation to magic mountain or something.
but anyways, sometimes i just cry bc i feel like i'm the only person on the planet who feels like this.
21 years without love is a long time. a very long time. i feel very deserving, but for some reason, i don't think god believes i am yet.
i'm off to ponder this some more. i'm not sure why, i don't think i will be figuring it out anytime soon.
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5 comments:
Of course you're not the only one who feels like this. I feel this way to :-) I have thought I was in love many times. I've had my heart broken more times than it seems could be phsycially or emotionally possible for one human being. The person who wrote "Its better to have Loved and lost than to have never Loved at all" was a complete fucking idiot LOL
But instead of God not thinking you're worthy of love, I think God just knows you're not ready. What do you need to do to be ready?? Well I have no Idea i've gotta ask God about that...LOL
I've reconciled my rediculous relationships with idiots, jerks, users and abusers as Gods way of teaching me what I do and do not want. So right now, I know that I'm gonna find the love of my life eventually, when its time. Maybe I'll be 25, or maybe I'll be 50 who knows. But I'd rather have it when I'm ready and not now,even though all my friends are in relationships.
When it comes to this topic I could go on FOREVER. But you're truely deserving of love. And there's a guy out there that will get your sense of humor, and the music you like, and he'll be just as intune with your feelings about the world. You've just gotta sit back and wait. Don't worry, I'll be waiting with you :-)
okay soooo we have talked about this already but im going to leave a comment about it.
the bitterness of the world we live in has a way if killing romanticism and turning it into cynicism. when you go through life putting your love and trust into people and then have them hurt you it only makes it more hard to put your trust into someone else for fear of pain they may cause you. the only way to find love is to let your gaurd down (which i know is easier said then done) it makes you volnerable and uneasy. you lose control of a situation because you don't know what may or may not happen. even though i am your best friend im not just saying this but you are a VERY special person...you are unlike anyone else, your beautiful, smart, funny, you speak your mind, responsible...and i know everyone is special and unique in their own way but to me i see alot of people in the same light but to me you are really something different, your like a breath of fresh air in a polluted city of dumbasses,hahaha :]
anyway back to my point. which i already know you know all of this...God is in control, but you also have to understand that its not all up to him. When the chance arises will you be ready? You have to prepare yourself for it. Because if for some reason mr.right pops up and you give him the cold shoulder because you afraid or not ready then you may lose that chance...and i already know what your thinking right now ("well if he likes me enough then he will keep trying and trying..." basicall you want someone to walk through glass to get to you.) but you have to understand we are all only human and this is planet earth. Everything is like the movies and books. we all can't have edward cullens.lol. from my experience it is team work, its give and take and i think it is all worth it. and you already know if i don't like it it wont happen,hahaha :] jk but i just wanted to say i love you so much and any guy who has a chance with you is lucky.
wow this was so long, i wrote a book. love u. byeee
okay so i jusr re-read what i posted and i messed up alot because its 2 in the morning...but i meant to say that things are not like the movies and books...
I know this sounds dorky and so cliche but you really will find love when it's your time to. The world works in such weird ways!
Call me-ROSE-lol-Well, I unfortunately think a lot more than I should. My theory on love is that you do have to be prepared. It happened to me when I was kind of lonely and just felt like a space needed to be filled. Actually, I was so lonely that I rejected them beacause I thought I only liked him because of that reason. Then I found out he actually was exactly what I was looking for and I felt stupid. I was unwilling to step out and just be a friend even.It actually was pretty worth it though cause it still made me happy. I think when you are in a good healthy state of love you will be able to talk to them as a friend easily and then have a natural want to talk to them more.There is just a constant draw. My very close friend told me this. It should feel natural but on strange elevated level.
It is just scary taking the first step and it usually has to involve a little faith.
I don't know if this makes any sense but-I tried.
Oh, and yeah it doesn't even have the whole whole -he asked me out and now we are dating-it can just be a mutual feeling a respect.Which for me is a little hard. Unfortunatly-or-maybe fortunatly real love isn't just a show and surface deep. It can even bloom over time. Everyone has there own spin.
I also thought he'll find me and tell me cause hes the male and males just want sex anyway. But he didn't see it that way. He saw it as a shared bond.Not all guys are jerks!
The world is tipsy turvey :)
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